Practical Self-Care Tips for Grief

When you’re grieving, self-care can feel impossible, or even pointless. What good is a bubble bath when you can barely keep your head above water? Sure, things like face masks and long walks might help, but right now, you can’t even find the energy to get out of bed.

I know exactly what that feels like. The kind of self-care that just gets you through the day. The kind that doesn’t ask you to change your whole life or spend a lot of money, just to take one small step forward.

If you’re in the thick of grief, this is for you.

Redefining Self-Care

Let’s start by reframing self-care from luxuries to essentials. Put all thoughts about spa trips and manicures on the back burner (unless you want to do those things).

Right now, let’s look at self-care as building a foundation for healing.

Three Self-Care Habits in the Early Days of Grief

• Stay Hydrated
  Water might be the last thing on your mind, but it matters. When you’re grieving, your body is working on overdrive and needs more water. Dehydration can increase anxiety and make depression feel heavier.
  
  If you struggle to remember to drink water, try one of those cheesy motivational water bottles or set timers on your phone. I didn’t think they would help, but they did. And still do.
  
  
• Stash Snacks
  Cooking a full meal might be out of reach, and that’s okay. Keep granola bars, almonds, fruit snacks, or whatever you can manage nearby. Stash them in your nightstand, your purse, the couch, anywhere to keep them in arm's reach.
  
  And if your dinner ends up being Taco Bell instead of pot roast after a day of snacking, that isn’t failure, that’s still progress and something to celebrate!
  
  
• Set a Timer to Sit Up
  There was a time when I couldn’t get out of bed. I was so exhausted from the weight of my grief. Sitting up felt like climbing a mountain.
  
  If that’s where you are, set a timer for five minutes. Just sit up. When the time goes off, lie back down. Tomorrow, try six minutes. Eventually, get out of bed for a minute or two.
  
  Those small wins matter. Let them.

When You’re Ready, Add These to Your Routine

• Put On Clean Clothes
  Sometimes, something as simple as a fresh pair of socks can offer some comfort. I made a habit of putting on clean clothes every day, even if it was one pair of sweats for another. It was still a signal to my brain that I was taking care of myself.

• Get Some Sun
  Step outside for two minutes. That’s it. Sunlight is a natural mood booster, and those few minutes count more than you might think.

• Angry Clean
  Have you ever scrubbed your kitchen counter while your mind just zoned out? If you’re feeling anger or frustration, take it out on the carpets or counters. It’s productive, cathartic, and you have a clean space by the end.

• Ask for Help (Be Specific)
  People want to help, but they also don’t want to overstep. If you always say, “I’m fine,” they might not know what to do.
  
  Next time someone offers, ask, “Can you bring me a coffee?” or “Want to binge a show with me?” Remember, you don’t have to go through your grief alone.

• Embrace Joy
  You’re allowed to feel joy after loss. It’s not betrayal. It’s not erasing your grief. It’s part of being human.
  
  It’s about accepting that grief and joy can co-exist.

Start Small. Stay Gentle.

If this list feels overwhelming, I totally get it. After my dad died, I could barely move. I was spending all my time in bed or on the couch.

Things didn’t change overnight. It took time and lots of therapy. It took starting small, one habit at a time. Now, I can do all those things I used to miss out on, like taking a walk with my family or watching the sunset.

You deserve to experience those moments too!

One Habit at a Time

Our grief cannot get better if we don’t help it. We have to choose; are we going to meet it head-on and make a change, or let it consume us? I know how hard it is to move through grief, but I also know that you can do it.

Start with one habit. One day. One tiny shift at a time.

Pick one thing from this list. Do it until it becomes a habit, and then pick something else. Do that until you have a routine.

Grief is heavy, but you’re still here, and that’s no small thing.

🎧 Want to hear the full episode?
Listen to Grief Unfiltered: Practical Self-Care Tips for Grief wherever you get your podcasts.
📘 Want more support?
Check out my course, Befriend Your Grief, for tools, stories, and the community you need when grief feels like too much.