Grief Changed My Relationships—Here’s How I Found My Way Back

Grief can feel like a bubble—a thick, heavy one that separates you from the rest of the world. When I lost my dad, I didn’t just lose him—I lost parts of myself, too.

His only sign of cancer was a side ache. That’s it. And then, suddenly, he was gone.

In the months that followed, I felt like I was just going through the motions of life. I was consumed by fear—convinced that any small symptom in my husband meant something terrible. A headache wasn’t just a headache; it was a warning sign. I avoided doctors’ offices because I couldn’t bear the possibility of bad news. I stopped doing things that once made me happy because all I could see were worst-case scenarios.

I know now that grief had rewired my brain. It made me feel like I had to be on high alert, always bracing for another loss. And in doing so, I pulled away from the people who loved me most.

How Grief Impacts Relationships

Grief doesn’t just affect the person experiencing it—it ripples outward, touching every relationship.

For me, grief changed how I showed up in my marriage, my friendships, and even in my role as a mother. I became more withdrawn, more anxious, and less present. And the hard truth? Even though I was hurting, the people around me were affected too.

At first, I didn’t see it. I thought I was just protecting myself. But looking back, I realize I was also shutting people out—people who loved me and wanted to be there for me.

I am so grateful that my husband supported me through that time, but I had to come to terms with the fact that my actions weren’t fair to him, my daughters, or myself. It wasn’t until I went to therapy that I began to rebuild. I learned how to process my grief without letting it control me. I learned how to reconnect.

You Are Not Alone

If you’re in that place—where grief makes connection feel impossible—please know this: You are not alone. Your grief is valid. And it’s okay if your relationships feel different right now.

The people who love you want to be there for you, but they might not always know how. And just like you, they might be grieving, too, in their own way. Grief doesn’t have a rulebook. There’s no right or wrong way to process it. The key is to communicate—share what you need and be open to what others might need too.

Navigating Relationships Through Grief

While grieving, your relationships may feel more rocky, more solid, or a mix of both. This is completely normal. Grief can either strengthen the emotional bonds you share or create space for resentment or miscommunication—especially if you and your loved ones aren’t on the same page.

One of the biggest things to remember is that everyone grieves differently. Your friends, family, or partner may not express their grief in the same way you do, and that’s okay. They deserve the same space and time to process their emotions. There is no “wrong” or “right” way to grieve.

Regardless of the type of relationship, grief can make you feel more isolated than you really are. The people in your life love you and want to support you. Communicate how you’d like to receive support while also respecting your loved ones’ boundaries.

A Reminder As Valentine’s Day Approaches

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, it can be tough to see people celebrating love and connection when you feel disconnected from your own world. If this year looks different for you, that’s okay. Traditions can change.

You don’t have to put on a brave face or force yourself to celebrate if you’re not up for it. Do what feels right—whether that’s a quiet night in, writing a letter to your loved one, or simply allowing yourself to feel whatever comes up.

You Are Loved

Grief has a way of making us feel like we’re alone, but I promise you’re not. The people in your life love you and want to support you—sometimes, they just need to know how.

Take care of yourself, honor your emotions, and lean into the connections that feel safe and supportive.

You don’t have to do this alone.