How to Navigate the Holidays While Grieving

When you think of the holidays, you probably think about spending time with your family and friends and being happy. But if you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, you might not feel like there is much to celebrate at all.

Grief often makes the holidays a difficult and overwhelming time. I know that my first holiday season without my dad was painful. However, I got through it by finding ways to incorporate my dad into the holidays and reminding myself that I’m allowed to feel all the complicated emotions at once, like pain AND joy.

If you’re grieving a loved one this holiday season, here are some of the ways that helped me honor my loss while still remaining open to building new memories and experiencing joy with my family and friends.

Acknowledge Your Feelings

The holidays are not just a time to feel joy. They are a time to reflect, practice gratitude, and even feel sadness. There is no one right way to celebrate the holidays. Lean into all the feelings that come up for you, even if they are conflicting. Remember, you have to feel it to heal it.

Be Flexible with Traditions

Traditions don’t have to be kept exactly the same from year to year. You are not letting anyone down by pausing or modifying a tradition to honor your loved one and your grief.

Reach Out for Support

Sometimes, the holidays can be the hardest time of the year when you experience a loss. Don’t isolate yourself if the grief grows overwhelming. Rely on your support system or reach out to a counselor or therapist for additional help to get through the holidays.

Honor Your Loved One

Giving your grief an external time and place to exist can help bring solace and peace. You can give your loved one a physical space by lighting a candle in their honor, setting up an additional chair, or creating a memorial ornament to display. You can also say a prayer or trade memories you have of them with your family.

Set Realistic Expectations

It’s important to give yourself grace. Don’t force yourself into situations that may be too painful or pretend you are happy if you aren’t. Consider what you are able to handle and communicate those boundaries to your family. It’s okay to take a holiday season slower than you normally would while grieving.

Practice Self-Care

The holidays can be a lot, even when you’re not grieving. Don’t forget to take time to focus on your well-being. This might involve meditation, exercise, or simply doing something that makes you happy, like a hobby or reading a book.

Remember, there is no right or wrong way to experience grief. If you feel like laughing, let yourself laugh. While the reality is that you will grieve forever, it does not mean that you are not allowed to experience joy. You are allowed to live your life to the fullest while honoring your loved one at the same time.

The goal of grief is not to “get over it” but to adapt to it and accept it as a part of your life. Give yourself grace this holiday season and focus on the actions you can take to honor your grief while feeling any joy and happiness that comes your way.