3 Grief Myths That Need to Die (Like, Yesterday)

Let’s just say it: people mean well, but some of the things they say about grief are straight-up garbage.

If you’ve ever been told to “move on” or that “time heals all wounds,” this post is for you. These myths aren't just annoying—they’re harmful. They mess with our heads and make us feel like we’re failing at grief. Spoiler: you're not.

So let’s call out three of the biggest grief myths and talk about what’s actually true.

Myth #1: Time Heals All Wounds

Ugh. This one.

The idea that grief just magically gets better with time sounds comforting, but it’s not real. Time alone doesn’t heal anything. You have to do something with that time. You have to process your grief, talk about it, cry through it, scream if you need to, and get help if you’re drowning.

For me, it took almost five years before I stopped feeling like I was just surviving every single day. And honestly? That’s only because I finally started facing it—therapy, journaling, sitting with the pain instead of running from it. That’s where healing happens.

Grief is like a wound. If you ignore it, it doesn’t magically heal—it festers. You’ve gotta clean it out. And yeah, it hurts. But that’s how it gets better.

Myth #2: Grief Happens in Stages

We’ve all heard it: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.

Sounds neat, right? Like a little checklist. But grief isn’t a checklist. It’s a freakin’ rollercoaster. You can feel denial and acceptance in the same afternoon. You might never hit all the “stages,” or you might loop back around to anger years later. It’s not linear. It’s not predictable.

And reaching “acceptance” doesn’t mean it’s over. It just means you’ve learned to carry it differently. Some days the grief still sucker punches you out of nowhere. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong—it means you’re human.

Myth #3: If You’re Not Crying, You’re Not Grieving

Some people cry a lot. Some people shut down. Some get angry. Some throw themselves into work or scroll TikTok for hours just to feel something other than pain. Grief wears a million different faces.

When my dad died, I felt like I had to look sad all the time. Like, if I wasn’t crying when someone asked how I was doing, I was doing him a disservice. But grief isn’t always visible. You can be grieving and still smile. You can laugh with a friend and cry into your pillow two hours later.

You don’t owe anyone your tears. Your grief is real, even if it doesn’t look like someone else’s.

Final Thoughts

There’s no right way to grieve.
There’s just your way.

The more we talk about what grief really looks like, the more we give ourselves (and each other) permission to heal without shame.

You don’t have to do this alone—and you sure as hell don’t have to do it by anyone else’s rules.

🎧 Want more real talk like this?
This post was inspired by Episode 6 of Grief Unfiltered: Tackling Grief Myths.
Give it a listen for deeper stories, real talk, and a few personal rants Krystle didn’t hold back on.

📘 Or check out the Befriend Your Grief online course if you're ready for some real support.